Saved From The Skip

One unforeseen side-effect of the total smoking ban recently introduced in Ireland has been a sharp increase in sales of underarm deodorant, the Skip has learnt.

"Because the air in Irish pubs is so much cleaner these days, it is now possible to smell odours that until recently went undetected in the dense, smoky atmosphere," commented Ireland's leading olfactory expert, Dr Peter Heneghan (B.O.). "Besides, as a result of the new laws, people are now drinking less, and consequently tend to be sober enough to notice when others in the immediately vicinity stink to high heavens..."

Ireland is the only European country to have introduced a total smoking ban apart from Malta. It is not yet known whether Malta has experienced any similar side-effects. Our investigate top secret undercover Skip agent recently went there to find out, but promplty went missing in the island's heaving, throbbing bar culture. He was last seen lying unconscious under a car in a place called "Paceville."

Meanwhile, if you have any information of his present whereabouts, kindly keep it to yourself. We are a lot better off without him...