Saved From The Skip

After years of consistently adopting controversial positions on anything and everything under the sun - war in Iraq, fox-hunting, the proposed 90-day terror bill, the smoking ban, the relaxation of pub laws, education reform, and more recently, the announcement that Britain will once again go nuclear - British Prime Minister Tony Blair astounded his critics yesterday by saying something that wasn't outrageously polemical or furiously uncompromising.

The incident took place shortly after Mr Blair gave evidence in front of the Commons liaison committee, during an informal moment in the presence of a number of lobby journalists. So bland and inconsequential was Mr Blair's comment that nobody present could afterwards recollect exactly what it was he said. However, all admit that it was something "any old person would say", and with which they "could all agree upon" for a change.

However, Mr Blair's fiercest critics were unimpressed by the apparent change of heart. Contacted by the Skip, Abdul Bas, spokesman for the Brotherhood of Blair-bashing Muslims, claimed that the comment was "nothing but a smokescreen to deflect attention from the worsening security situation in Iraq."

Elsewhere, the newly formed political pressure-group, B.LU.R.B. (British Labour Union of Revolting Backbenchers), issued a statement in which they declared their continuing opposition to anything Tony Blair says or does, regardless of when, where, how or why.

The B.L.U.R.B statement ended on the ominous note: "One Gordon Brown! There's only one Gordon Brown! One Gordon Bro-o-O-O-o-own...!"