Saved From The Skip

Exclusive! Saved From The Skip has acquired unique video evidence depicting the decidedly doggy state in which the White House currently finds itself. (Click picture or here to watch video)

Cunningly disguised as a short charity Christmas film entitled A Very Beazley Christmas, the candid shots of daily life among the Bushes offer numerous insights into the US government's general lack of direction, providing a global explanation for much that is wrong with the state of the world right now.

In the video, numerous top ranking Bush administration officials are witnessed in highly compromising positions, and making staggering admissions of the administration's cluelessness. For instance: Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez is clearly overheard discussing US economic policy with, of all things, a nine-month-old puppy: a fact which makes perfect sense, but only when you consider that his alternative was to discuss it with George W. Bush.

Meanwhile, Hurricane Katryna refugees now have the answer to their questions about delays in restoring normality to their stricken city. It seems that US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Alphonso Jackson, is too busy advising Barney on his popularity ratings to bother with the redevelopment of New Orleans.

And in case you were wondering why economic recovery has been slower than usual this year, well, check out the speed at which Treasury Secretary John Snow talks. You can almost hear those rusty cog-wheels as they gradually grind to a total halt...

But the footage also speaks volumes about the state of the American media, which continues to pander to a national taste for frivolity while allowing the US government to get away with stoogery.

Nancy O'Dell leads the pack with a typically fluffy feature about All The President's Scottish Terriers: riveting stuff, I'm sure you'll agree, compared to those all boring stories about White House scandals, more White House scandals, still more White House scandals... not to mention repetitive scenes of death, disaster and devastation in war-torn Iraq.

Predictably, she is joined by media heavyweights such as Steve Scully and George Stephanopoulis, who, like faithful media poodles, dutifully do their bit in the ongoing charade. (After all, the job of a journalist is to sniff out real stories, which can be difficult and dangerous. Sniffing presidential butt around the White House, on the other hand, is "easy as ABC"...)

However, doubts have since been raised about the video's authenticity.
"We're not at all convinced," explains the Skip's resident expert in doggy videos. "For one thing, Bush is captured on film speaking for almost a full minute, without stuttering, pausing, getting his lines wrong or making even a single grammatical error. Besides: at one point he sends the two dogs out of his office because 'he has a lot of work to do'. George Bush? Work? Come on... This is plainly ridiculous, as can be verified by a simple glance at the state of the world today."

But others are just as convinced that the video is the real McCoy: "Think about it", says one observer. "the credits at the end of the film are presented 'in alphabetical order'. And yet, 'President Bush' comes before 'Mrs Bush'. Who, but an utterly idiotic and illiterate administration, could possibly claim that 'P' comes before 'M' in an alphabetical list...?"

Meanwhile, the CIA is investigating the video to ascertain whether Willie, the black cat seen fleetingly towards the end, is in fact none other than the dreaded Al Qatusa terrorist, Wi'il Al-Qoyoti: suspected of repeatly trying to assassinate Road Runner using Acme terrorist bombs...