Saved From The Skip

(sung to the tune of Penny Lane, by The Liverpool Benders)

Cherie's Hair,
There is a barber showing photographs
Of every cheque
he's had the pleasure to receive,
For sums of cash you just would not believe.
He's from Tel Aviv.

And Mrs Blair:
She's now the subject of controversy
She's all the papers
Can be bothered to discuss
But would they bother making such a fuss
About the rest of us?
(They don't give a toss...)

[OK, chorus coming up here, folks... now sing along, you boys and girls]

CHERIE'S HAIR
IS RIGHT UP THERE
WITH PRINCESS DI...
THE LATEST
APPLE OF
THE MEDIA'S EYE

Oh my, and
mean-
while
back

At Number Ten,
The old PM just gave a conference.
He unveiled
His party's plans for its third term:
"We're going to base them all on Cherie's perm."
He was very firm.

[sound of rhythmic thumping of desks]

But the rest
Of the backbenchers had a heart attack:
"We forked out less
Campaigning in Drybeck and Hoff...
Than we spent upon your wife's new coif:
Can't she just piss off?"

But Tony scoffed:

"CHERIE'S HAIR
IS ALL I CARE
ABOUT RIGHT NOW
- ASSIGN
ANOTHER BILLION
TO IT, BROWN!

Or else I
won't
step
down..."

[And now, one octave higher]

CHERIE'S HAIR!
IT'S ALWAYS THERE,
AND ALWAYS BLAND!
EVEN
WHEN IT'S DONE
FOR SEVEN GRAND...

It still is
out
of
hand.

[Interlude: This is the part with all the fancy trumpets and stuff....]

CHERIE'S HAIR
IS RIGHT UP THERE
WITH PRINCESS DI...

CHERIE'S HAIR
IS ALL WE CARE
ABOUT RIGHT NOW...

CHERIE'S HAIR
IT'S ALWAYS THERE
AND ALWAYS BLAND...

It cost seven grand.